Just a quick update; I passed everything. I actually scored pretty darn good in my Criminal Law class! Woo hoo! Taking an international law class this summer which is where my interest is… Will post more later! 😉
Finals are done! I think I did OK. I felt good when I left my criminal law exam, until I started listening to my classmates. I found everyone after the exam began second guessing, and picking the exam apart. Where at one point I was almost skipping out of the exam thinking I handled it much better than I anticipated–to questioning my choices, and realizing I had forgotten to mention the “apparent safety doctrine.”
One hour is not a lot of time to have for complete analysis of a hypothetical scenario. I kept remembering what a few attorney’s at work advised me, “don’t spend too much time on one essay. Allow “x” amount of time and when it’s up…move on.” I knew that not completing the test was far worse than missing a few items. I didn’t miss any major issues, and I did manage to define almost every single definition, and finish with a few minutes to spare.
I keep telling myself that a model answer is just that.. the ideal answer almost perfect. I wish to reach that level. But, it was my first test and in all honesty I think I did about 75% of the model answer. At least I hope I argued my view of the crime sufficiently if it differs from his. He said it doesn’t matter if we disagree with him, as long as we recognize the issue and argue our point of view. I have to wait now two weeks for the results. Ughhh!!! I wish I hadn’t listened to the others. I know now why I like to be alone. I don’t need any negative energy in my head. I feel confident about what I am doing. I studied like I was supposed to. I need to trust that. I do. I am starting a first time juvenile offender mediation program this week. I am excited about trying to make a difference in kids who are at a fork in the road, and hope to help somehow keep them from choosing a path that leads to the criminal justice system.
I have to socialize with others, because its impolite not to. But, I really don’t want to. I wish my class was larger so I could just do my own thing and not have to bother being social with anyone.
I started back doing light jogs. I am averaging about 6 miles a week. Nothing major. But, I have to say my head does feel clearer and emotionally I am stronger when I exercise. I think emotionally I am just trying to transition everything and manage it. I have a light load this summer and hope I am able to keep up the running a bit more.
I am totally procrastinating doing my homework right now. I decided to give my brain something different to write about and update my blog! School is going great. Sure, it’s hard work. But,it doesn’t really feel like work to me. I am enjoying it. Even when my mind feels like pudding and I don’t think I can remember one more thing- I still love it.
I found that I particularly like Criminal Law at the moment. I think everyone does at some point. It seems to epitomize what we are conditioned to think of when someone says the word Lawyer. I didn’t think I would enjoy it as I am a highly sensitive person. I have trouble dealing with the dark side of life that exists. The weird thing is I can handle hearing about murder and the circumstances surrounding the crime. I can handle rape; we finished that topic before spring break. I can handle most things associated with criminal law, as long as none of it involves children. I can’t do it.
I think my criminal law professor is a legal rock star. He completely gets it when I told him how hard it is for me to read the cases assigned involving terrible crimes against children in our homicide chapters. It seems many of them involve children in at least one example of everything we cover. I realize now its by design. Children are supposed to be our jewels and protected. It emotionally causes many people to act from a place of passion. I have to try and see beyond the emotional rage or sadness and see the reasoning of why the law was applied the way it was. I don’t always agree. But, many of the cases we read are really hard to call cases and not of the norm. But, it teaches us to see the reasoning of the case law that proceeded before it and how the legal rule applies.
Our legal system is really quite fascinating and wonderful. Even though sometimes the bad guy gets away.
What I was getting at before I digressed… my professor let me skip one of the horrible ones. He took over my brief and discussed it without me having to go”there”. He is very respectful and told me basically there is no shortage of calloused attorney’s in the word, and I can take my time trying to get through some of those. He also has given me a gift of seeing things in a different perspective. He can explain things in a way that is completely mesmerizing. He has a way of helping me see that sometimes good people do bad things. It’s better to not falsely imprison one innocent man if it means letting a few bad ones go. I get it. I do.
I love all the professors I have. I think they’re all super talented teachers and I am getting the education I was hoping for.
I try really hard. I honestly make a tremendous effort to be the best student I can be. I know I am putting the time and effort in. I don’t want to be a half assed attorney. I want to be a great attorney. I am trying to take everything in. It doesn’t guarantee I will test well on the final. However, It won’t be because I wasn’t prepared.
I hope I can break all my issues and rules down to the level they need to be dissected and explained on the hypothetical. However, in knowing that- I don’t think I will let that happen.
I have always wanted to be top of my class in anything I have pursued. If I speak up too much people view you as a pain in the ass. But, I have always been pretty self assured and trust my inner compass. It’s my education. I can’t worry what others think of me. I am respectful and mindful to not take away a learning opportunity from anyone else. I know the balance. However, I also know if I am not sure of something I need to ask. I want to be good not average. I have found I don’t really want to study with anyone. I am happier studying alone. So, that is the update if anyone was wondering. If not, no worries writing is so therapeutic. I definitely do this more for me anyways. 🙂
I will post again after finals. I am already looking forward to next semester!
I have been M.I.A. from my blog for 7 months my stats tell me. I haven’t been running except the odd mile or two once in a while. It’s so bizarre, because at one time I was so passionate and happy to doing it. I admit I was in the best shape I had been in a while, but it lost its loving feeling for me, unfortunately. However, I do give running credit for motivating me and quite honestly giving me the confidence to go back to school. I even used finishing my two half marathons in my personal statement when I applied to law school.
Training and finishing the two half marathons in 2014 taught me how to power through mentally. When I took on the goal of completing a half marathon it was completely foreign and totally out of my comfort zone. I can honestly say it was never something I thought I’d hear myself say out loud, “I just signed up for a half marathon!” Going to law school was. I have always wanted to be a Lawyer.
Everything happens in the way it’s supposed to I reckon. I needed to know what it feels like to not quit. I had to show myself I do know how to cross a finish line. I didn’t finish the half marathons in an impressive time, but I finished, and that was the lesson I needed. To know how it feels when something is hard, and challenging in ways I would never expect, yet the rewarding life lesson that I can do it. The half marathon was my training for law school, and now law school will be my 26.2! I start Tuesday. I know its going to have its own challenges and at times I will have to power through, but I will remember to breath and keep my eye on the finish line; this is my marathon.
I set my first goal in about a year. I signed up a for a 10K in Dublin, Ireland next month. What’s funny is when I started this blog 2 years ago my goal was to run the London 10k. This is close! Funny how when you put something out into the Universe it seems to come to realization. It might not be right away, but many times I can trace back to the exact moment I visualized it. My next visualization is Law School graduation in 4 years…. We’ll revisit that.. ha ha..
After a year of trying to heal my foot.. I FINALLY feel like its better. After the second cortisone shot with stretching and massaging the foot with a golf ball that seemed to do the trick.
The podiatrist gave me the green light to run again, and I am taking it very slow building the feet endurance back up. This week I am running 2 miles at a time 3x with a bit of cross training mixed in. This mornings 2 miles felt good. No lingering foot pain afterwards. If everything keeps up as it’s been going I am not worried about being ready for the 10k next month. I will be up to it.
I am looking forward to a new race in a different country to keep things exciting. It’s a chip timed race which I love. But- it didn’t ask for a shirt size. I am assuming there isn’t a shirt involved which is a bummer. Anyways, the race is the Duleek 10k just outside of Dublin, Ireland. I can’t wait for my trip!
I haven’t blogged in a while. I haven’t done anything in a while. In the last few years I have filled my life with goals and achievements that were extremely foreign to me. Goals I never would have ever thought I was capable of. In a way I like to think everything I have been doing has lead me to what I am about to do. I am going back to Law School.
Law School is all I have ever wanted to do. It’s a huge undertaking and for one reason or another I haven’t been able to really go after it. In a way it’s probably why I started setting my goals on things that were hard for me to do.. like running a half-marathon. I have been extremely unfulfilled. I haven’t had the mental stimulation or challenging situations in my career life, so I created something to give me that passion for something I was craving.
Running did that. I was so fired up with this goal to focus on I even started a blog! It has given me what I needed to help show me the way. When I finished my first 5k I remember crying with pride. That was a huge accomplishment for me. When I finished my first 10k in the time I set for myself, again I was thrilled. I remember while running that 6.2 miles thinking to myself at mile 5, “How will I ever do 13.1?” It felt that hard. But, I did. I finished two half marathons -granted not in the time I wanted, but I finished. I went the distance.
All of this showed me I am capable of doing something if I set my mind to it. I can go the distance.
I needed to prove to myself I can do things that are hard. I know what its like to cross a finish line. Those were important lessons for me. I let the self-doubt voices in my head sometimes talk to loud. It’s not that I don’t think I am intelligent enough to handle Law School. I feel confident I most certainly am. My fear is going the distance.
I have to work during the day. I don’t want to carry student debt, so I will go to night Law School. At my age, the dream of working for Google, or some high-fluting fancy establishment that cares what top tier school one goes to is not realistic. It’s not worth carrying over $100,000 debt to compete with 30 something year old’s who need that high profile position to pay for that kind of student debt. I am starting too late in the game for that scenario–which is another reason I knew I had to go for it. Once I hit my 40’s I realized time is not a luxury I have to make everything happen. I need to act on it, or live with it. I will regret it if I don’t go for my dream. I have to try.
I am happy to have the opportunity to attend a school that will qualify me to sit for the California State Bar- pass and then figure out what I want to do when I get to that bridge. We’ll see when I get there. For right now I am focusing on one mile at a time… Continue reading
After 5 months of pain from Plantar Fasciitis I opted for a cortisone shot. I have to say, so far– I am glad I did it. I, of course, know I am not off the hook and need to continue my physical therapy of stretching, ice, massage, taping helps, orthotics for my shoes (Green Superfeet work great for me) to heal properly. But, the pain was so excruciating and none of those things seem to be helping me heal.
Also, I need to work harder on my diet. I have to lose weight. I do good for a few days, and then I totally blow it a day or two and then go back. I am not going to make progress if I don’t get as serious about my diet as I have with my exercising.
I have researched healthy snack ideas and planned things for the week. I have cute containers to portion control and have found some recipes to make treats without flour, sugar, etc. My favorite one I tried this weekend was Quick Oatmeal banana cookies!
I used two very ripe bananas, about a cup (I eyeball measure) of quick oatmeal oats, and raisins (You can add some dark chocolate chips, or nuts, also). That’s IT. Mash it all together (don’t use too many additions or I read the oatmeal wont stick together as well). Also, grease (I use pam non-stick spray) your cookie pan well so nothing sticks -that could be a nightmare. Here is the link of of the recipe for any other ideas or questions http://www.theburlapbag.com/2012/07/2-ingredient-cookies-plus-the-mix-ins-of-your-choice/ . I baked them at 350 degrees for 15 minutes like they said. They were so yummy warm! It was like eating an energy bar. They didn’t last more than 20 minutes in my house. My little one kept asking if she could have another. I said sure, there is nothing in them that isn’t healthy for her. She can have as many as she wants. My husband loved them and kept going back for another. I loved them. They smell great, too.
So, I am trying. I have lost 5 pounds only so far.. it should be more if I was more successful keeping the food out of my mouth. It’s the hardest thing ever! I know what I have to do. I have done it in the past more than once. It’s just doing IT !!
Today is a new day, and I can make it a good day. Hope you do too!
It has been a rough few weeks. Absolutely, mentally excruciating.
I thought I was over the hurdles and back on track to working towards my goals, but then life threw me another curve. My transmission went out on my Jeep, literally 12 hours after I heard the good news I was officially done paying off my Jeep! O.M.G! Really?!!!! Yes, really. Now before someone (and, yes, many people did say this) “at least it didn’t happen when you were still making payments on it”. True, but, I had just made the last payment and hadn’t any time to recoup or save money , yet! It was devastating.
My husband thought he would save us money and attempt to fix himself. I was against it, as transmissions are not easy fixes. I appreciate what he was trying to do, but it had the makings for another mess I mentally couldn’t handle. However, I had no choice, but to let him attempt it without having world war III in my house. Two weeks I waited for him to get the part and attempt the work. It didn’t work. We could still drive the car, but it was in permanent third gear. A transmission guy drove the car, and said, “its not mechanical, its a code or software issue and only Jeep can fix it.” Luckily, I have a friend who works at the Jeep dealership. I didn’t originally take it to her because I know they charge by the hour just to diagnose the problem at $150.00 an hour that is one road I didn’t want to travel even if I knew someone who worked there! But, if its a code issue then I had to let them take a look.
I told her if its over two hours she needs to call me. I can’t do more than $300 for a diagnosis, unless they know what the problem is. She called me later that day. I just happened to be at my mechanics shop in Marin County who was smogging my BMW. He deals with import cars and while he is good, he isn’t cheap either, when she called from the Jeep dealership. She informed me it wasn’t electrical nor a code. She needed more time to take apart everything including the part my husband replaced. I asked how much this was going to cost? She paused, and very hesitantly said, “it could be 750.00 and that isn’t even a guarantee.” I was speechless. I couldn’t say anything, except break into tears, and I handed the phone to my mechanic. He had no clue at first what I was handing the phone to him for. I just kind of muttered.. talk.. to .. the Jeep.. dealership.. I can’t. I was just done.
Bless his heart. He did. He took the phone and asked what they were doing, what have they checked so far. Then he spoke with their transmission guy and between the two of them they discussed, and decided what to do. He got off the phone with them, and gave me his advice. He said, ” I think this guy sounds knowledgeable. He seems to think he can fix it without new transmission. I think you should let him finish with it, and just bite the bullet. If you need a new transmission I told him to take it out of the dealership and I will do it cheaper.” I had gathered my composure by now, and said, “Ok”.
My friend then spoke with me and assured me they are looking out for me, and promised she is not charging me unnecessarily. I knew she wasn’t. I realize its the dealership and it is what it is. I had accepted the fact I was probably going to need a new transmission and started telling myself, “I got this. I got this… I can handle this..” I had no time for any reprieve from owing money, or any breathing room. I just have to deal with this.
The next day I hadn’t heard from anyone. It was two O’clock in the day and I braced myself to make the call and figured I better call AAA and have my car towed. But, my phone rang. It was my friend at Jeep saying, “you’re so lucky girl. It’s fixed!” I was shocked! NO! Really?! YEP! It was a part that was bent, a valve casing.. and turns out it was a hundred dollars cheaper than quoted! I am so happy. I bought a bottle of whiskey (I was told what he drinks) and brought it to the transmission guy when I picked up my car. She purrs like a kitten! Finally, it seems everything fell into place. We celebrated by going to dinner in Sausalito.
I am so fortunate I know the manager of Scoma’s in Sausalito. I had never been there before, and she had told me if I ever wanted to come to let her know. I had called and make reservations there a month ago. When we arrived, she had set us at the BEST table in the house. In front of a beautiful bay window, with a view of San Francisco city skyline and Bay Bridge. The weather was perfect.. in the 70’s in early evening! Super crowded though with a lot of tourists enjoying this cute city by the bay.
I had Maine Lobster and spinach salad. My husband had steak and lobster. My daughter loved her clam chowder and fettuccini. We were given French cheesecake with raspberry sauce on the house. My daughter lost her front tooth at dinner! It was like a perfect dream ending! I am now so excited to FINALLY get back on track and start my training!! What a relief… I thanked everyone with good reviews on Yelp, hugs and little thank you gestures of my appreciation. I learned another thing.. having a good mechanic is like having a good doctor. I want one who can diagnose correctly and fix the issue. When you find one.. never stray! I will be doing all my recommended services from here on out! Hope everyone had a Happy Valentines Day!
I was so excited to start my program. Unfortunately, I got a little bad news. Nothing too critical, but it’s deflated my sail a bit. I thought I was finally debt free… It was such a weight off my mind, shoulders, etc. I found out I actually have 2 more months of payments I had no idea about. Another two months of struggling…another two months of the stress it took to manage every month that I finally thought was gone! Urghhhh!
It’s not earth shattering, but I don’t feel much of anything right now.. Just kind of numb. Then on top of it I realize what idiots I deal with when they plop petty bullshit in my lap without any sensitivity to my feelings. So, many I think are friends… Are not friends at all. Instead of support they’re the type that will correct your grammar or spelling in my post. Or, others I have supported – – don’t even ask how I am.
At the end of the day I don’t lose sleep over it. I am used to being strong and have learned to only count on myself. I will bounce back in a week or so and get started again, after I give myself a little time out. Because right now…I don’t give a fiddlers fuck.
This week was the first week I started taking steps towards the San Francisco 2nd Half Marathon. I began using my fitness pal app again, and tracking my food more seriously. I am really taking it slow in the running department choosing to focus on losing weight before my scheduled training plan takes effect. I am keeping my runs to 1-2 miles at the moment 3-4 times a week, with cross training.
I know losing weight is going to ease my knees and injuries. I really want to get into some really decent shape to give this 2nd half marathon a real go. I have 6 weeks to drop some weight and gradually get into better condition without pushing my body too fast, before my training plan calls for scheduled mileage increases.
I started with a chiropractor to adjust my knees, feet and hips. He adjusted me today. Who knew ones feet could be adjusted? They did! He felt on the bottom of my feet (where I am complaining of Plantar fasciitis).. my feet popped into some alignment! Then he adjusted my knees and hips. I am returning a few times a week as I am gradually easing back into my running and he will adjust me accordingly. He is also applying Kinesiology Tape to my knees friday to show me some different techniques I can try. I figure this is a better step in the direction of being pro-active than taking Rx strength Aleve, as my M.D. suggested. I am on a mission to try and cure this, not mask it. I absolutely have no problem thinking outside the box.
I also have my beautiful new Runner’s Calendar for 2015. It’s hilarious how excited I am with a calendar, but I have always wanted one. It has races all over the world on different dates listed, with July 26th listing my sweet SF Marathon, which I blew up in the photo. It made their list! Also listing tips to prevent injury, exercises, motivation quotes, and of course beautiful destination pictures of places to run.
I love having a goal. It really is something I now know I need in my life. I need something to look forward to, to keep my eye on the prize, and striving to be better. I need the structure. Its probably why I love running so much, it requires an amount of discipline I haven’t always been good at. I have finished everything I have set out to do so far with my running goals, which hasn’t always been the case. This is teaching me to not give up on other goals I have. After this goal, who knows, maybe it will be back to school for me!
Oh.. and as of today… 3 lbs down… to be continued !