My last post had me in a bad mental state. Mentally I had just shut down. I was exhausted from trying to negotiate every day life and all the issues I was running up against. Our family had sacrificed for five years paying off debt. Five years of not going out to dinner, not buying new clothes, not buying any new furniture when needed. I had to juggle bills constantly! I was finally done, so I thought and the relief of knowing I could live again with some financial freedom had me bouncing off the walls! Well, it hit a hiccup.. temporarily…
I had called to ask for final pink slips, etc and confirm the balance was zero (thinking this is just a formality, of course its zero!) to hear the lady say, “You still have a balance of $4,000.” I was thinking.. NO, NO, NO.. that can’t be right! I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. To make a long story short, and skipping all the other crap that went wrong with this situation.. I am blaming Mercury. Mercury was and is in retrograde. I don’t care if anyone doesn’t believe in that stuff. I do. I even had told my husband, be careful, allow yourself extra time when doing things as things will go wrong-just allow for it. Then this happened, and I thought, thanks Universe! Why is this happening? How? Well, turns out it was a clerical/bookkeeping error! Oh, my goddess! I cried. I literally wept tears of happiness. How can I diet, exercise and train when mentally I was checked out?
Which brings me to my next point.. mental health is just as important as physical health. The difference I feel knowing this was a mistake, and I don’t owe anything more is like a miracle feeling. I am so happy I can’t sleep. I am looking forward to starting my day back with eating right, starting my exercise program and looking forward to the future. I understand how some people can get to a point and just check out. I do. Depression is VERY real and scary. I have only been there a few times in my life. I am usually extremely strong. But, everyone has a breaking point.
The good thing was I had some great people along the way who helped me. They just happened to be all men. Weird? Maybe .. but, I find men tend to step up and can really recognize when someone needs something. There are times when things can be pushed to the side, and then there are those times when they can’t. Men seem to know that distinction. Women in my life have never really been that for me.
My husband was amazing. He really nurtured me this week. He knew I was in a dark place and it was him who was going to have to be the strong one. A few others just did nice things to making life a bit simpler, taking a bit of the load off of me by tackling projects I couldn’t handle at the moment.. one was at work, and then a nice attorney (yes, I said nice and attorney in the same sentence.. there are some, for sure!) who looked into my situation and emailed me with the results that I was in fact, clear. Each of those people in their own way, with their kindness, kept me hopeful.
If you ever have the chance to do something nice for someone, do it. You never know how something so small to you might make a big impact on someone else. I try to pay that kind of stuff forward… and I will again. Thank you Universe for showing me how you usually balance things out in the end. I can’t wait to start my Spin class tomorrow morning!
things, try and stay calm