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My runner’s rant.  I started this blog to basically journal my journey through the running process.  It’s been a really positive experience for the most part.  Although, as of lately I am feeling some negativity.  I am sure I am not the only runner to experience this, and if you’re a runner I am betting most can relate to this rant.  Why are some people so quick to push a person down, or encourage someone to give up?

I am battling a knee injury.  I know its a knee injury that can be fixed.  I can tell its not a permanent injury.  I am just having to experience and try a variety of things to find what works to cure it.  I had an X-ray and have seen a Sport’s Doctor, although, I feel like it was a waste of time, quite frankly, I was told there is no permanent damage, nor anything torn, or otherwise.  Therefore, I know its just going to take a combination of things to heal it.

I have had some really great suggestions and some wonderful support from some friends suggesting names, giving me ideas of what helped them or someone they know who battled the same injury.  That is what I need!  I welcome that wholeheartedly!

What I don’t need is, “Maybe, you should just quit” or “Maybe, running isn’t your thing”, “I think that’s your body telling you something,”  “You don’t want to permanently injure yourself, so you should stop.”  I don’t want to quit.  If I wanted to stop I would have.  Clearly, I am choosing to figure this out along the way, the same way I have with other issues I’ve encountered running.  I found solutions, and I will find a solution to this as well.  I am struggling with why someone would encourage someone to quit so readily?  Why, would someone not offer encouragement?  I am not crippled.  I haven’t been told by my doctor to quit or that I even need to.  Why the hell would people be so rude?  A few months of some issues and a person’s solution is to quit?  That is fine if that is a personal decision.  But, for others to be so quick to say that to another person seems spiteful.  Frankly, it pissed me off enough to keep going.  Maybe they think a big girl like me shouldn’t be out there running.. like, how dare her think she can do the same thing as us thin runners.  Maybe, I am offending to them in some way.  That is all I can think of, I just can’t accept that they are looking out for my well being and genuinely concerned for my health.  I am just not feeling that is the intention behind the remarks.  It’s really affected me and in all honesty, shown me how much I have grown as a person.

I am beyond that bullshit.  I encourage people to follow whatever it is that makes them feel alive, and good.  Running is hard- so what? It challenges me right now.  I need a challenge, because in my real life I am stagnant in my career and what I want to be doing.  I am far more capable and intelligent than this nonsense and moving towards something else.  Running has given all that to me.  It’s given me faith in myself and the confidence to believe in what I only thought about.  I like that its hard for me, and I keep trying and trying.  The people saying these things to me, know me.  But, if they really knew me, they’d see how much it’s given to me, and how much heart and passion I keep giving to find the answers I need to continue.  Why would anyone discourage that?

Would they say that to me if I was weighed 120 lbs and had a knee issue?  I bet not.  I see plenty of heavier runners out there, and good for them!  I say, “good job” to every single one of them I see.  I am one of them.  They wouldn’t be out there if they weren’t getting something out of it.  That is the beauty of running- its a one person sport- you are only doing it for YOU.  No one can make someone get out there and run, and run for miles!  Only we can personally do that for ourselves.

I was fine when I was running by myself, and writing my blog just to share how I feel, and when I find the answer to something that works for me, or a product that worked great for me I can share it with other runners that might have the same problem and/or heavier, like me.  I was happy as a lark.  When I started sharing with others in real life and let them in is when I became exposed to the harsher side.  I have heard this and read these same things in other articles and blogs, so I know I am not alone.  But, I had to vent.

If I take away something from it, I have learned to be more careful with my words.  I will be more aware of not discouraging someone from following what makes them happy or tell someone to give up.  I won’t be that person.  The mind and spirit is a powerful thing, and believing in someone and giving them encouragement can be half the battle.

In saying that, I am not taking that bullshit advice of quitting.  I tried two knee patella braces – one on each knee and been doing my stretches and I made it last night 6.5 miles.  I took it slower, but I did it.  I felt good in my physical fitness of doing the distance.  If my knees held up like they did last night I think I am going to be fine.  I am going to try to get more miles in Sunday, hopefully 8-9.  If I manage that then I think I have a shot at finishing the Nike Half Marathon without having to limp in like I did the SF Half.  It’s all a learning curve.  I am learning what works.  No harm in that.

Now, I have vented, and I won’t carry any of that around from this moment on.  If anyone ever tries to push you down, get back up.  Show them you are stronger than their words.  No one has the monopoly on your life, and what you can or can’t do- only we have that power. Fuck them.