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I have learned so much since starting my journey.  I am glad I have this blog, as its now basically my diary.  It’s amazing what I’ve learned about myself and my body and believe it or not, even about some people around me. This has been not only a physical journey, but one hell of an emotional one, also.

I have solved my feet issues.  I now do different stretches that work wonders and have healed my tibia and shins.  Yoga is helping with many of the aches and pains.  I have now learned about KT Tape! Love it! I put it on my left knee a day ago, and I have noticed a pretty significant improvement.  I am a believer in it! So, little by little through all the pain and discomfort I am learning about my body, and how to take care to not injure myself in the future.  It’s all trial and error.  I am running my first 10K this Sunday!! 

I have also encountered some not so wonderful things emotionally.  Its strange, because this started out as such a positive, exciting journey for me.  I was so excited I started a blog!  But, I am having a hard time with some remarks that come from people that I use to value their opinions.  I have now decided to try and keep my feelings regarding my running to my blog.  I don’t think most people I know read it.  I know my family doesn’t.  This is my place to vent.  I totally get my family doesn’t want to hear about my running blabber all the time.  It’s hard to be excited about something and realize that most people would rather watch paint dry.  I get that. But, its such a huge part of my life at the moment – I have a hard time not talking about it. Again, I need to just write it down and let this be my outlet.  

I heard a few statements recently that stuck with me and triggered a whole slew of thoughts for me.  I knew this had to be my next blog.  The first statement was, “Maybe, this just isn’t your thing.”  When I heard that I stopped and thought about it for a minute.  I am sure this person is just looking at this from a black and white perspective.  I guess hearing someone like me, who is not the typical runner who has to work harder than most, go through so many different injuries and emotional ups and downs, might question if this might NOT be my “thing.” But, then that leads me to the second statement I heard, which is, “Sometimes it’s good to throw yourself into the deep end once in a while.”   And, So, YES, this is EXACTLY WHY RUNNING IS MY “THING!”  

If we don’t throw ourselves into the deep end once in a while we won’t grow emotionally, spiritually and build our strength.  I am doing something totally out of my comfort zone.  I looked at this way, some people get fearful and might build up a lot of anxiety before a test.  Many people freak out and hire a coach to help them study for entrance exams to colleges or Law School, etc.  I didn’t have anxiety about taking the LSAT.  I bought a book, studied on my own, timed myself with the sample tests and then took it.  I didn’t score a 160 or above, but I did score pretty damn reasonable.  I don’t stress over tests.  But, here I am having panic attacks, anxiety attacks in the middle of the night over something I VOLUNTARILY signed up for.  It’s ridiculous I know, but that’s me.  This is out of my comfort zone.  I don’t think running was Oprah’s thing either, but she finished a marathon.  Why?  Because, she likes to challenge herself.  She is an above average person who likes to grow and walks into her fears.  

I created this situation.  I chose the half marathon.  I didn’t pick the flat one that would promise roses, champagne and fun.  I picked one that is beautiful, but challenging.  I created this by design.  I designed this subconsciously, but very on purpose and now I see it.  I need something challenging in my life.  I am not fulfilled with my work.  I know I am capable of more.  I want to use my brain!  I want to be challenged intellectually and given more responsibility, and maybe I needed to prove something to myself before I spread my wings.  Feeling stagnant in a career can be so depressing.  But, for many people its fearful to change a job for fear of the unknown.  I think its a good idea to find other ways to challenge yourself.  Make something happen that you DO have control over.  

I have control over this half marathon.  It’s not life threatening, it won’t cause me to lose my home or not provide for myself or my child. But, it does have the power to strengthen my character.  It has the power to improve my self confidence.  I will prove to myself I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for.  I am a fighter.  I always have been.  I am not giving up.  So, why one person might say, “something isn’t your thing”  think to yourself that maybe that is exactly why it IS your thing.  I don’t have to be great at everything.  If we stick with what we only know or do well then how will we ever challenge ourselves or grow?  

It’s good to throw yourself into the deep end once in a while.  Take the leap… I did.

 

Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.

Thomas Carlyle

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