As I was running I began to realize not only is this great for getting myself into shape, but it has been fantastic exercise for my mind, and has really began not only changing my body, but changing my whole life. I have exercised before, but its never had such a profound affect on my life as in, my soul, how I see myself and what I am capable of. Before someone thinks I have flipped my lid or having some kind of religious experience.. I hope you will let me explain how.
So, here I am running along and after I hit four miles I began questioning myself. Can I really do this? I told myself, “YES. You have to. If I don’t do it now, I will have to start all over another day and I am too close now to quit”. I then realized I was having an internal conversation with myself. My body wanted to stop. Now, clearly, if I was in some physical distress I would stop. But, I wasn’t. I was pushing myself past a threshold I hadn’t been before. I then realized running isn’t just physical. A large part of it is mental. It’s having the willpower to push yourself and your mind is doing a lot of the work when you get past that comfortable limit. I was telling myself, I can do this. My mind was telling my body, I can do this and to keep going. Also, I think I like running because its harder than any other exercise I have done before. Running requires dedication. A lot of people quit after a short time of trying. I know. I was one of them. It takes getting out there time and time again. I run when I am sore (not injured, only sore). I run if I am tired. I have decided that if I want to improve and actually become a runner I need to put the time in. I have to be dedicated. If I quit then I will have to start from the beginning. I like that. I like that its not just a class I take a few times a week. This is becoming a lifestyle. I respect it more than any other exercise I have ever done, if that makes sense. I am respecting myself more and don’t want easy anymore.
The fact that I am doing it doesn’t stop with just physical benefits, but feeding my soul.
I think a lot of people aren’t successful in certain area’s of their life because of fear. Fear of failing, or not believing in yourself. Are we are good enough the way we are? Yes, we ARE. We ALL have the tools we need to succeed if we tap into them. I had this power all along. Now, I see that. I see that with every mile I run. I can do it. If I can do this, what else can I do? I can do everything I set out to do if I really, really want it.
I started Law School about 5 years ago. I loved it. I felt so passionate about the study of law. Every day I sat in that class; I sat in the front row. I would savor every lecture thinking how lucky I was to be there. But, subconsciously I created circumstances to sabotage myself. I didn’t see it then. But, I see it now. I think I was afraid of actually succeeding. Running is showing that to me, that I am worthy of being successful. I am good enough. I AM enough. It was me that took the LSAT, wrote and researched my papers. I was scoring second and third in my class consistently. Why did I doubt my abilities? The same reason I would tell myself I couldn’t run!
Its a lie. It’s not true. I can do it, and so can you. Maybe running is being used as metaphor for something else in my life. But, it really hasn’t been only physical exercise in my opinion. It takes mental strength to push past your limits and each time you do maybe it pushes us that much more into realizing the only person putting a ceiling on our potential is us. By running we are doing something physically about it instead of just thinking about it. It makes everything else seem easier to at least try. The dream that was just a dream might seem more like a reality that you’re ready to run after as well. I think the metaphor I was looking for just became clear.